Mythbusters, CM-style

I think there might be a lot of mystery surrounding my job as traffic manager. I’m not going to go into a boring job description; instead, I’d rather give you some myths I’ve heard about what I do all day and then dispel them with the REAL explanations below. Behold!
Myth: When I’m staring intently at my computer screen, I’m playing Cafe World or Tetris.
Reality: I’m sifting through the daily 280 emails, 96 system reports and a crap ton of task notes that come into CurrentTrack.
Myth: When I’m eating a sandwich for lunch, I’m thinking about how much I enjoy that sandwich.
Reality: I’m actually considering what HAS to get done after lunch/before the end of the day and how we’re going to get there.
Myth: When I arrive in the morning, the first thing I do is check my personal email and text my bestie.
Reality:  I DO text my bestie…CurrentTrack is my bestie. Personal email is for sissies.
Myth: I’m gossiping at everyone’s desks all afternoon.
Reality: I’m herding all of our cats into the big bag by checking status with everyone individually. Okay, I might goof around a little at each desk, but that’s part of my mystique. I’m really just trying to get you to do what I want you to do.
Myth: I sit kind of weird in Jolt.
Reality: I’m making sure I hear everything that’s said around our huge conference table. That means I gotta lean in a weird way sometimes.
Myth: When I’m out of the office, you all can mess around.
Reality: I’m everywhere. You can’t hold me. Even when I’m gone, I know what you’re doing.