Desperate Lives for Desperate Housewives

The opening episode was sure packed with heat, but left me with many questions.
To start, season five opened five years later. I guess the present was getting a little too predictable?
Brie is up to her old tricks. Susan is as emotionally tangled as ever. Lynette is trying to tame her family as she raises her teenagers and her teenager-at-heart husband. Edie is back and has found the perfect mate…a psycho husband. Gabi is battling self-esteem  issues and working through the same problem with her overweight daughter.
I cannot help but try and predict what the season will bring. So here is my desperate attempt to figure what will happen in the lives of these desperate housewives.
Brie is working hard on her new business, the only thing she has left to “baby.” The business will fail (primarily because of her partner), but her relationship with her daughter will blossom. Her son will manage to get into some kind of trouble with the law and his secret lover and will somehow find a way to lay blame at his mother’s feet for his mistakes.

Susan is a mess, as always. She drives her husband away because he will be insensitive to her needs during a tragic accident. She will play the field for a while, realize what she has missed and fall for Mike again. She will stumble upon more details of his shady past and try every trick in the book to win him back – she will use her kids as decoys, and Mike will fall for her one last time. The accident proves to be closer than she thinks, though — Mike knew the woman in the car accident while he and Susan were married and it is unclear as to whether or not he was also the father of the woman’s deceased child. This draws them closer and they live happily ever after…well, maybe not.
Lynette lays low this season as she raises her children. Her husband develops a small gambling problem, thanks to the twins — Lynette leaves him for a while and then realizes she is not complete unless she is controlling every man in her life, so she takes him back.
Gabrielle has a fun road ahead of her. She will become a pageant Mom to correct her overweight daughter’s problem and her own self-esteem issues. Her husband continues to also pick up weight, so they will all end up eating healthy and getting in shape…but, not so fast…Carlos begins to fall for his personal trainer. Poor Gabi!!!
So much can happen in one episode of Desperate Housewives — many of my predictions may happen in this weekend’s episode!
Will Brie punch Katherine? Does Edie’s husband have a plot to kill everyone on Wisteria Lane? Is Mike living a secret life?
Only time will tell for these vixens.