It's the 2013 Hyperbole! Bring on the 1Q ads!

Each year for the past 5 (give or take) years, we’ve divided up the Super Bowl and taken a look at the best and worst executions on the world’s largest/most expensive ad stage. Nick has graciously broken down the first quarter for us here.
OK, if I put a client in the Super Bowl, I’d want them in the first quarter.  First break of the first quarter.  It’s the opening kickoff of the cavalcade of commercials.  Everybody is patiently waiting for the game to give way to those first, long-awaited commercials.
So, how did the first quarter fare this year? Let’s check it out!
Budweiser Black Crown
The first installation of this series was uninspired and a letdown for the commercial kickoff. But you’ll have a hard time convincing me Budweiser can make a beer that I’ll like.
Audi
Nailed it.  Reminiscent of last year’s Prison Break, this one followed a kid flying solo to his prom.  Emboldened by driving his dad’s Audi, he charges into the prom and plants one (not an uncomfortably awkward one, like the upcoming Go Daddy spot) on the prom queen. He goes home with a black eye from the prom king and a story to put in front of the #braverywins hashtag.
Hyundai Santa Fe’s “Team”
Cute story. I’m definitely pulling for the welders, weight lifers and bear wrestlers, but that crew seems like it’d be more at home in a beat-up VW Microbus. No compelling reason to buy a Santa Fe.
Go Daddy
Well, they brought us Walter the nerd who needed 45 takes to get it right with supermodel Bar Rafaeli….but I missed the point.  How is Go Daddy sexy?  And Danica Patrick has run her course for Go Daddy.  The unique idea Go Daddy spot that ran later in the game gave more people more reasons to buy their product.  Run it twice instead.
Doritos’ Goat 4 Sale
This one simply ensured that I’d never buy a goat from a dude wearing a neck brace, in his front yard.  Soooo, goats like Doritos.  Maybe I’ll never buy Doritos, either.
NFL Evolution: Making the game we love better and safer
With all the negativity about the safety of the game of late, you took a ten yard loss from your own five.
Pepsi Next
The reason-to-be is “real cola taste with 60% less sugar.” Geez, why hid it with a trite parents-come-home-early high school party.  Done.  Overdone.
Best Buy
Amy Poehler – Really?  They sell a bunch of eletronics at Best Buy?  Whodda thunk it.  But it was chuckle-worthy for her to say “dongle.”  Twice.
Black Crown.
Obvioiusly, I’m not in the demo.
Coke’s See the World Differently
I like the idea of catching people doing unexpectedly good things.  I thought you were supposed to roll out your new stuff for the Super Bowl. Interestingly juxtaposed to the Oreo-cookie-insipired library riot.  Coke made me smile; Oreo was just another overdone SB spot.
So, maybe they saved the best commercials for the second quarter….