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Newsflash: Tumbleweeds of cash rolling towards Redmond

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First off, let me say that I am not a Microsoft fan. I don’t like Windows (except for 98 SE), their software, or the way they do business. But as someone with an absurdist sense of humor, I do like their marketing. I found the 180 different flavors of Windows Vista highly entertaining, as well as the How-To-Throw-A-Windows-7-Launch-Party video. I just saw a commercial for the new Windows 7 line of phones and wanted to break it down:

A man walks through what appears to be a street in Western Europe, gazing intently at his phone. Everyone he passes is similarly glued to their smartphones. Around him we see growing signs of mayhem, apparently induced by the lack of attention paid by everyone in the commercial, all to the strains of “The Season Of The Witch.” The tagline? “It’s Time For A Phone To Save Us From Our Phones.”

What exactly does this mean? As I understand it, what Microsoft is apparently selling is a phone so awful, so unusable, that no one will ever want to use it. A phone so stupidly designed, it can only save us from Smartphones.

Ka-ching! I can feel the barrels of cash rolling towards Redmond now.

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