Please say something funny…please.

We’ve been on a hiring spree lately and as one of the hiring managers, I got to see a menagerie of application and interview approaches – some great, some good and some downright awful.
So, what’s it take to score a sweet job here at Current? Well, I’ll tell you!
Read the job posting carefully and do what it says.
Our listing asked for salary expectations and made a specific directive of no phone calls. Most applicants disobeyed both. I want to know what you expect from a pay standpoint so I understand, in advance, if we’re going to let you down. And, it’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s that I’m much more accessible via email, which I receive on three separate Apple devices.
Cut your resume down to one page.
You don’t want us to think you’ve got an inflated sense of self-worth, do you? Well, when your resume is 6 pages long and takes my 20 minutes to review, that’s what I think. Cut. It. Out. Dave. Coulier. All I really want to know is what you’re doing now, what you did just before that and anything interesting about you that might set you apart from the hundreds of resumes we’ve gotten.
Proof your resume and introduction note.
I cannot tell you how many of the 112 resumes and accompanying introductions I received that had typos. If this is really important to you, read your submission just ONE LAST TIME before you send it. Have a friend read it. Have your mom read it. A typo (or heaven forbid, multiple typos) makes me think you don’t really care all that much about working for us. We want people who want to work here and strive for 100% accuracy.
Peruse your social media reputation.
Yes, that’s right. I use social media as an espionage tool. I look for you using Google, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and the blogosphere…just to name a few. If you’re online, I’ll probably find you. So, if there’s something embarrassing there, tell me in advance. You read that correctly – tell me about it. You never know, it may be the thing that intrigues me about you.
Let’s say you’re lucky enough to get an interview. Let’s consider some solid approaches to this phase.
Be early, but not too early; likewise, don’t be late.
We bill by the hour, so being 30 minutes early for a meeting with us is just as rude as being 30 minutes late. You’ve told me that you believe your time is more important than mine. 10 minutes early shows me you are punctual and self-disciplined.
Work on your handshake.
There’s nothing like shaking a dead fish to foster a terrible first impression. Go to the board strong, son! You’re confident and relaxed, right?
Iron your clothes. Seriously?
Why do I even have to put this one in here? A simple quick pass with the iron works wonders for your interview. You know what I see when I think you can’t iron? Momma’s little baby. Not attractive.
Bring copies of your resume.
Don’t assume I printed out a copy and studied it. I reviewed it quickly, saw something that interested me, and put you on the schedule. Bring a copy of your resume and be prepared to walk me down through it in a clear and concise way. And make sure it’s up to date.
Listen to our questions and answer them.
Okay, this one sounds so basic, I shouldn’t even have to say it. But, you wouldn’t believe the answers we get to the simple question, “Why should we hire you?” We are asking what qualities you have that would help our company advance, not how great our company is to work for and how much you want to work here. Yes, we know we have a great culture and you believe you would fit in nicely. Hint: everyone says that. So, you haven’t told us something that puts you ahead of the pack. What qualities do you bring to us? How can you make our team better?
Show that you reviewed our website, our Facebook page, our blog, our LinkedIn profile and you understand who we are.
There’s plenty of information about us out there. There’s really no excuse for not knowing about us. And, if you’ve read our blog, cite something specific that made you pause. We want to know that you understand how to study your target and reach it.
Have a list of questions about the job, our company and how you fit in.
There’s nothing worse than getting to the end of the questions we want to ask you, only to feel like you don’t care to learn anything about us. You are judging us just as much as we’re judging you. If you don’t ask questions, it makes us think you just want any old job you can get, rather than the one WE have to offer.
For heaven’s sake, say something funny as early in the interview as you can.
As a creative bunch, we are all funny. Or at least we think we are. You can win a lot of points by adding a funny, contextual and relevant quip. Early. Loosen us up. Show us your real personality. What’s the worst that can happen? Here’s a hint – try to get an interview on Thursday because the firing squad is off on Thursdays.
There you have it. Imagine me smacking my hands together and saying, “Easy squeezy.” It’s not hard to get a job here. Focus on it. Behave like a normal person and be yourself. We’ll love you for it.