Tacky Christmas Sweater #12: "I triple dog dare ya!"

As a young nerdling, Sean knew very well what it was like to be tricked or cajoled into licking ice cold light posts in winter. That’s why as an adult he founded the National Tongue and Frozen Pole Awareness Network. “This is an especially tough time of year for geeks and spazzes,” he said. “Right now, all over this country, socially awkward young people are stuck to frigid pieces of metal, glued there by their own frozen saliva. Our mission is to be there wherever and whenever frozen pole trauma occurs, with warm water, gauze and understanding.”
Sean, we salute — and snicker at — your noble efforts.