As the woman who pulled the short straw in our equal-opportunity Firm Santa drawing, it’s clear that Laura has a long way to go if she’s going to make it up to the mandatory Claus weight by Christmas. As you can see from the suspenders, last year’s Santa, Dennis, did us proud ballooning up for the role like Robert Deniro on the set of Raging Bull. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem that even Laura’s appointed eating coach, Ashley, is going to be much help, no matter how hard she blows that Christmas light-shaped training whistle around her neck. You’re letting us down, ladies! Now drop and give us twenty!
In the 1920s, a company called Burma Shave — producers of brushless shaving cream — started putting signs up that delighted and educated drivers. These