As the woman who pulled the short straw in our equal-opportunity Firm Santa drawing, it’s clear that Laura has a long way to go if she’s going to make it up to the mandatory Claus weight by Christmas. As you can see from the suspenders, last year’s Santa, Dennis, did us proud ballooning up for the role like Robert Deniro on the set of Raging Bull. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem that even Laura’s appointed eating coach, Ashley, is going to be much help, no matter how hard she blows that Christmas light-shaped training whistle around her neck. You’re letting us down, ladies! Now drop and give us twenty!
Truth in Advertising
The year was 1909. The US Army bought the first military aircraft from the Wright Brothers, Sigmund Freud lectured in NYC, and the Manhattan Bridge