What the #&!! were they thinking?!?!? Parts I and II

Part I
Say what you want about the mental capacities of our current president, Dub-ya never showed up on WWE.
I can’t believe the three remaining candidates — or their handers — agreed to this! Honestly, I sat at my computer trying to discern if these were just really good lookalikes, because no candidate can hold the Office in appropriate esteem and do this!!! Play the sax on Arsenio Hall, but please don’t denigrate the position of Leader of the Free World by endorsing professional rasslin’.
As a matter of fact, Mr. Obama, I do “smell what Barack is cooking,” and it stinks. Badly.
You three are making Ralph Nader look serious!
As a voter, I’m insulted.
Part II
Billy Ray, have you lost your achy-breaky mind???? What part of “let your teenage daughter pose nude” could even start to sound like a good idea? Forget the fact that Disney has pumped millions of dollars into the Hannah Montana franchise to make her more famous and successful that you could have dreamed for your one-hit self. You’re supposed to protect her! It’s fathers like you who give Flatwoods and the rest of this great Commonwealth a bad name.
As a Kentuckian (and a proud member of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels), I am appalled. As a father, I’m insulted.
I’m going to try and have a good Derby anyway. Ten dollars across the board on Big Brown, please….